May 23rd

Doctors Versus Phamacists

By brenda r

 Who would you trust more to prescribe medicine, your doctor or the phamacist?

While your family physician may know what the health problem is, would he be more knowledgeable about the prescription medicine he is prescribing for you, or the pharmacist? I think i would trust the pharmacist opinion, over my family physicians, as he would know more about the prescription medicine than the physician.  I would be interested in your thoughts on this. 

 

May 20th

From: The Daily Mash

By Colin L

group

ADULTS have been urged to unlock their full potential by finding their ‘inner grown up’.

Psychologist Dr Tom Booker believes adults have lost sight of how to access their adult selves and has suggested a range of strategies to help people reconnect with their ‘repressed grown up person’.

Dr Booker said: “Instead of reading Harry Potter books, which are for children, read a book written about actual grown ups that doesn’t involve witches, zombies or goblins.

“Or you might consider watching a BBC4 documentary, or even tuning in to Radio 4, rather than watching Doctor Who, which, once again, is for children.

“Another way to encourage your inner grown-up is to read a long article in one of the broadsheets without whimpering ‘tl;dr’ and turning to a story about Kim Kardashian’s bum.”

Dr Booker also regards restaurants as ‘special venues’ where over-21s can ‘release’ the over-21 year-old person within by eating something other than chips or pizza.

He added: “And when asked if you want a dessert, don’t get all excited and order ice cream. You’re not 12 and it’s not your birthday.”

Dr Booker said the next level involves ‘taking responsibility for something’, but that was for advanced students only.

Note 'tl;dr' = 'Too long; didn't read'

May 9th

Coeliac Awareness Week 9 - 15 May

By Ann R

Many of you reading this may think that coeliac disease is a fad and that someone with the condition is just a fussy eater.  However, coeliac disease is not an allergy or intolerance to gluten; it is an auto-immune disease where the immune system – the body's defence against infection – mistakenly attacks healthy tissue and sees gluten as a threat to the body. This damages the surface of the small bowel (intestines) and disrupts the body's ability to absorb nutrients from food.    To date there is no cure from the disease and it is estimated that one in 100 people have the condition although only 24% of those with the condition are currently diagnosed.

Symptoms of undiagnosed coeliac disease include bloating, diarrhoea, nausea, wind, constipation, tiredness, sudden or unexpected weight loss (but not in all cases), hair loss, brain fog and anaemia.  Once diagnosed, it is treated by following a gluten-free diet for life.

Gluten is found in three types of cereal – wheat, barley and rye – which can be found in many foods such as pasta, cakes, breakfast cereals, bread, sauces, ready meals and beer.

Most supermarkets and online companies have a range of gluten-free products, which is a help although they are costly but that is a whole different story!  The gluten-free market is coming on in leaps and bounds and, although it is made up of a range of people, there will be quite a few of the intended recipients of gluten-free cakes who won’t eat them because of the fear of cross contamination – so they are making cakes for a reasonable market section that wouldn’t be able to eat them.  It is a commercial argument to make to those who are trying to sell to people with coeliac disease and gluten intolerant folks - make sure you do it right or you will not sell any or may make us ill - as you will see from my own experience.

For a long time I have suffered with ‘tummy problems’ and it was only just over three years ago that I found out that I was gluten intolerant – which meant that I have to avoid gluten, although it is not quite so serious as having coeliac disease it does have its drawbacks.

I visit a lot of eating establishments within the area and I am aware that, although they have increased over the years and are selling gluten-free produce, many of them do not realise the full implications of how they are displaying their food.  I would love to try some of their gluten-free cakes but inwardly I am thinking ‘they have gluten-free cakes but I can’t risk it because they are almost touching the other products, and oh there she goes, using the same tongs for both gluten and gluten-free cakes- that would definitely make me ill’.  So you can see that just going for a cup of coffee and cake isn’t simple.

This also applies to cooked meals in a restaurant - I have to ensure that the chef understands exactly what the problem is, that the food should be prepared in a separate clean location to where something containing gluten has been cooked, otherwise there will be cross contamination and I will end up ill for a couple of days – which then spoils the purpose of going out for a meal.

Cooked meals that are made from ingredients that do not contain gluten should be cooked on a separate grill, pan or – in the case of chips – in separate oil to the one that you use for other products. 

Coeliac UK is the national charity for people with coeliac disease. The Coeliac UK Awareness Week takes place from 9 – 15 May 2016 and will be asking people to consider their symptoms and ask Is it coeliac disease? An online assessment www.isitcoeliacdisease.org.uk allows people to complete a short questionnaire and to be advised if they should seek screening from their GP. Further information can be found on Coeliac UK’s website:  www.coeliac.org.uk 

Apr 23rd

From:- The Waterford Whispers News

By Colin L

Head Of Influential YOLO Cult Converts To Buddhism

 

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MORGAN Sheffeteri, the founder of the vastly influential YOLO cult has devastated his dedicated followers by turning his back on his movement, sensationally converting to Buddhism.

Followers of YOLO routinely reaffirm their faith by posting examples of how they are living their lives in the knowledge that it is the only one they will ever have.

 

Wearing shorts on a cloudy day, ordering pizza instead of having a healthy salad, and getting tattoos without much thought have all been examples of YOLO followers living the only life they have to the maximum, just as Sheffeteri’s teachings outlined.

“I’m devastated, I’ve been a level 3 YOLO follower for a few years, if the leader is leaving the faith, then I think I might have to question only living once,” one shocked follower told WWN at the gates outside YOLO headquarters in Miami, Florida.

The cult leader founded the movement in the early 80s, but it gained huge momentum in the 2000s with the advent of the internet.

Sheffeteri’s conversion to Buddhism has been explained as a rejection of his own teachings, with a brief statement explaining his decision.

“At 67 now, I can see my life is coming to a close, and the idea that you only live once is terrifying to me so I have converted to Buddhism. These guys come back in the next life, and I’m all about not dying now,” the statement concluded.

Apr 22nd

From_ The Waterford Whispers News

By Colin L

Dog Becomes First Animal To Successfully Transition Into A Cat

 

THE animal kingdom community has hailed the world’s first ever identified case of a dog transitioning into a cat, with many animal rights groups joining in the praise.

“I was never a barker which was one of many signs I was born into the wrong paws,” the feline, who was born Rex, purred.

The runt of a litter of 6 Alsatian puppies, going by the name Felix today, the black cat admits his family is no longer on speaking terms with him following animal reassignment surgery.

 

“I only meow, so as you can imagine, communication isn’t easy,” Felix explained while licking himself.

Many public comment forums have been littered with criticism of Felix, stating it was not his place to suddenly decide he was a cat, but the feline has staunchly defended himself.

“There was no ‘decision’ made here, and frankly, I’m not sure what concern it is of others what I do with my nine lives.  I’m happy now and that’s all that matters,”

Apr 21st

From: The Daily Mash

By Colin L

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THE US will probably invade Britain if it leaves the EU, according to senior White House sources.

Current and former US Treasury secretaries have confirmed that Brexit would be followed by drone warfare, airstrikes and a ground invasion to install a US-friendly regime. 

Treasury secretary Tim Geithner said: “It’s nothing personal. It’s just what we do. 

“You’ve got oil, the tribal leaders in Scotland and Wales are locked out of the democratic process, and your despotic ruler viciously abuses his own subjects while living in the lap of luxury. 

“We’d go for a UN resolution first, then destroy the symbols of the tyrant’s regime like Buckingham Palace and Westminster, then move in on the ground. 

“After that you get a few months of looting, then a puppet government, and usually within the year public order has broken down completely and it’s street warfare and three decades of intermittent bombing.”

Norman Steele of Portsmouth said: “I reckon I’ll become a militia fighter. They always seem to be having fun in jeeps.”

Apr 20th

From: The Daily Mash

By Colin L

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PEOPLE who are upbeat in the morning have extremely low intelligence, it has been confirmed.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that self-styled ‘morning people’ have IQ levels below that of most people and even some animals.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “People who jump eagerly out of bed to begin their ‘morning rituals’ have the simplistic upbeat mentality that comes from a general lack of awareness. Labradors are also like that.

“Their only evolutionary purpose is to clatter around in the kitchen making smoothies, annoying the more intelligent humans so much that they are forced to crawl grudgingly out of bed and start doing the things that are truly necessary to society.

“‘Morning people’ love poor quality cheerful art like ‘beach grooves’ compilation CDs and films about street dancers succeeding against the odds. They’re nice. They just aren’t very bright.”

27-year-old Mary Fisher said: “The final part of my morning routine is to take my husband a slightly cold cup of tea whilst singing a romantic song from a Disney film.

“He opens one eye and silently mouths the words ‘I love you’. Or it could be ‘go away’, I’m not sure.”

NB Expletives replaced with euphenisms

Apr 12th

The Medical World

By Chrystie M

Chrystie M  

 

For the last l0 years, or more I have suffered with inflamed legs, and pain.  The doctors told me to use cream on them once or twice a day so I have been doing so ever since.  I recentyl bought a rather quacky book which is sayng that often the medication one is given can make your problems worse. Some chemical may not suit you.
Every time I ring various doctors and surgeries I am always told It is because of the mediction I am taking but 'continue with the cream' so on I went and the legs seemed to be getting worse..
Well in my strange book it did say that one can be allergic to various things one takes and it suddently hit me - THE CREAM.  Last week I stopped the medical cream and started another ordinary cream mostly herbs and the pain has gone and I do believe the inflammatiion is going down.

Apr 4th

From_ The Waterford Whisperer

By Colin L

Like Omega 3? Omega 4 Will Blow Your* Mind

 

THE latest fish-based oil from the renowned Omega corporation is promising increased heart benefits, faster connectivity to the life around you, and a swarm of other new features when people upgrade from their standard Omega 3 product to the brand new Omega 4.

The new supplement was unveiled at a glitzy health conference in Las Vegas at the weekend, along with other products such as the Omega mini and the Omega watch, subject to patent.

Onlookers had expected the unveiling of an upgraded Omega oil, but had anticipated that the new product would be the Omega 3s, with a minimum of new features. The auditorium rang out with gasps as Omega CEO Bob Carpenter pulled back the curtain to reveal an all-new Omega 4 oil, set to hit the market in October.

 

“You thought you were healthy with a daily dose of Omega 3? This is going to blow you away*,” said Carpenter, with his trademark brashness. “We’re talking BOOM, more heart benefits. BANG, better skin. KABLAMMO, higher brain functions, sharper vision, less joint pain… I could go on all night. Omega 4 is where it’s at from now on!”

Although industry experts have already begun hyping the new oil, concerns are growing that the new product may be manufactured by incredibly low-paid fish and krill in the Far East, under highly stressful conditions.

**  FYI - Minor deletions and substitutions have been made............

Apr 2nd

From: The Daily Mash

By Colin L

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DOCTORS have clarified that if there was ‘one weird trick’ to weight loss they would not hate it and would definitely tell you.

GPs stressed that, contrary to internet advertisements, they are not prone to irrational loathing of anyone offering successful weight-loss solutions.

Dr Helen Archer said: “Oddly enough, when I tell every bloody patient I see to lose weight it’s because I want them to lose weight.

“It would make my job at least 50 per cent easier, so I promise you I’m not keeping any ‘secrets’.

“There is no, repeat no, wide-ranging conspiracy among the medical profession to stop you losing weight. Very much the reverse.”

Roy Hobbs, from Stevenage, said: “They say that, but then all they recommend is diet and exercise and everyone knows they don’t work.

“Doctors are full of hate. I seen it in their eyes.”

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